Musings from the Injury Bench: Why we run
People start running for all sorts of reasons. I don't think mine were typical. There was no great desire to lose weight or even improve my fitness. I had been through a bit of a life crisis though, a parting of ways with a friend of many years, something which was sudden, painful and impacted negatively on my self-esteem. But I pride myself on being adaptable and strongly believe that sometimes the best way to adapt to one kind of change in your life is to make others.
So I decided to run. I had always been a bit in awe of people who ran. A few years back I had taken part in a Race for Life with a friend. It had never occurred to us to do anything other than walk the whole thing, so we did. But I remember looking at the runners with envy and thinking, "Wouldn't it be great to be running it?" Back then I didn't give a thought to such things as finishing times and personal bests because those terms were meaningless to me. Just the idea of being able to go out and run a race seemed impossibly cool to me. On that day I had, I think, made a silent promise to myself that I would eventually do it.
So it was that last autumn on something of a whim I downloaded the much talked about C25K app and, like virtually everyone who embarks on this program, was amazed at my initial inability to run for 30 seconds without feeling close to death. But as the weeks passed, I rose to the challenge. Slowly but surely I became a runner. There's something very soothing about having a plan to follow. When your life has been spinning out of control, you need focus and routine. Working my way through the weeks kept me sane. More than that, I began to enjoy it. As someone who had struggled with all kinds of mindfulness exercises to no avail, I was surprised to discover that when I ran I was more "in the moment" than I had ever thought it possible to be. All that mattered was my next step, my next breath. All that I was aware of was the sound of my feet on the pavement, the sensation of the wind blowing through my hair, the icy breeze on my face, an annoyingly damp nostril. I've always been someone who tends to over-think a situation but running grounded me and weirdly I discovered that I was at my most relaxed mentally when I was at my most exhausted physically!
A year on, I've become a park run addict and I've taken part in lots of races. I'm slimmer and more toned than I've been in years and I've rebuilt my self-confidence. (My enthusiasm spread to my other half and these days our idea of a 'dirty weekend' is a bit of muddy park run tourism.) Not long ago I was someone who depended too much on the validation of others. I needed feedback, reassurance, praise. With running I don't need any of that. The run speaks for itself. I don't need anyone to tell me I did well because I know where I started from and I know where I'm at now. There's a saying I like - "You don't have to be better than everyone else; you just have to be better than you used to be."
Much as I love getting personal bests, what I adore most about running is this feeling of being 'connected' to something. There's a whole community out there, people who, regardless of their age or ability level, are getting the same highs from doing what I'm doing. I can run alone (and I often do) and still not feel lonely. I love being outdoors too. I love running through beautiful environments because it feels like I'm claiming a little bit of it for myself. It's hard to explain that one properly, but it's a feeling that you're conquering something, that you are 'at one' with your physical environment, not letting it intimidate you and there's something empowering about that. I always considered myself an indoor kind of person but now I find myself craving the fresh air as much as the exercise. I am more in tune with the seasons. I notice the changes in the landscape. I love running at the different times of the year and in all different weathers (okay, maybe not ice) because that gives me a sense of perspective, reminds me of the cycles of life, the endings, the renewals, the transitions.
So I just need to sort out this stubborn ache in my hip, then I can get stuck into the half marathon training I had planned.
So I decided to run. I had always been a bit in awe of people who ran. A few years back I had taken part in a Race for Life with a friend. It had never occurred to us to do anything other than walk the whole thing, so we did. But I remember looking at the runners with envy and thinking, "Wouldn't it be great to be running it?" Back then I didn't give a thought to such things as finishing times and personal bests because those terms were meaningless to me. Just the idea of being able to go out and run a race seemed impossibly cool to me. On that day I had, I think, made a silent promise to myself that I would eventually do it.
So it was that last autumn on something of a whim I downloaded the much talked about C25K app and, like virtually everyone who embarks on this program, was amazed at my initial inability to run for 30 seconds without feeling close to death. But as the weeks passed, I rose to the challenge. Slowly but surely I became a runner. There's something very soothing about having a plan to follow. When your life has been spinning out of control, you need focus and routine. Working my way through the weeks kept me sane. More than that, I began to enjoy it. As someone who had struggled with all kinds of mindfulness exercises to no avail, I was surprised to discover that when I ran I was more "in the moment" than I had ever thought it possible to be. All that mattered was my next step, my next breath. All that I was aware of was the sound of my feet on the pavement, the sensation of the wind blowing through my hair, the icy breeze on my face, an annoyingly damp nostril. I've always been someone who tends to over-think a situation but running grounded me and weirdly I discovered that I was at my most relaxed mentally when I was at my most exhausted physically!
A year on, I've become a park run addict and I've taken part in lots of races. I'm slimmer and more toned than I've been in years and I've rebuilt my self-confidence. (My enthusiasm spread to my other half and these days our idea of a 'dirty weekend' is a bit of muddy park run tourism.) Not long ago I was someone who depended too much on the validation of others. I needed feedback, reassurance, praise. With running I don't need any of that. The run speaks for itself. I don't need anyone to tell me I did well because I know where I started from and I know where I'm at now. There's a saying I like - "You don't have to be better than everyone else; you just have to be better than you used to be."
Much as I love getting personal bests, what I adore most about running is this feeling of being 'connected' to something. There's a whole community out there, people who, regardless of their age or ability level, are getting the same highs from doing what I'm doing. I can run alone (and I often do) and still not feel lonely. I love being outdoors too. I love running through beautiful environments because it feels like I'm claiming a little bit of it for myself. It's hard to explain that one properly, but it's a feeling that you're conquering something, that you are 'at one' with your physical environment, not letting it intimidate you and there's something empowering about that. I always considered myself an indoor kind of person but now I find myself craving the fresh air as much as the exercise. I am more in tune with the seasons. I notice the changes in the landscape. I love running at the different times of the year and in all different weathers (okay, maybe not ice) because that gives me a sense of perspective, reminds me of the cycles of life, the endings, the renewals, the transitions.
So I just need to sort out this stubborn ache in my hip, then I can get stuck into the half marathon training I had planned.
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